So little demon Benjamin decided it was time for him to sink his claws into my mom’s old makeup brush. It’s one of those big fluffy kinds that poofs out really big at the bottom.
You know, now that I think about, that’s something I would have loved to put in my mouth as a baby. There were many things I enjoyed playing with then that now seem stupid or like they’re for wimps. I used to have cardboard houses I cut and painted myself for my barbies! And there were two barbie families: One had the brown haired father and mother, and the other was Ken and Barbie. The brown haired parents were Teresa and Dustin, and they had the happiest, healthiest, and most adorable family there ever was. I think in the last few months I played with them, Teresa had triplets. The two main children for them were Maya and Audrey. I was really obsessed with the name Maya at the time.
Maya was the good, all natural, northern kind of girl, while Audrey was the evil, devious child who enjoyed pranking but still had a big heart. I can’t remember what the triplets were called, so we’ll just call them the Triplets (there were two girls and one boy).
The blonde haired family was an entirely different story. Barbie was the slutty, cocktail drinking mom who raised her only fire-red haired daughter Holly on those principles. Ken, on the other hand, was a nurturing father who spoiled Holly and was mainly the idiot of the bunch. See, I made Teresa and Barbie sisters. So technically they were all related. Maya and Audrey and the Triplets were all Holly’s cousins. When I got Teresa “pregnant” with the Triplets, I also made Barbie “pregnant” with a baby girl. The only difference was, I made Barbie sit in the plastic cup of water/hottub for days because she refused to give birth because of all the pregnant lady discounts.
Eventually, Barbie gave birth to the daughter but drowned her in the hottub. The baby was BLONDE too! She could have been the dumb, cocktail daughter! I was a very violent person when it came to my barbies. Barbie and Teresa had to go to the “hospital” several times to get shots (thumb tacks) stuck in their legs so they wouldn’t have to be amputated.
Maya and Audrey often had to be dropped off the top edge of the staircase because they were pushed by their evil cousin Holly. Oh, and by the way, Holly never forgave her mother for drowning her only chance of blaming someone for all her crimes. Ken on the other hand decided to relieve her of guilt and said they could just get “pregnant” a second time! Shortly afterwards, Ken broke his legs during his stuntman job so he is now and forever unable to have kids. Barbie swears it was an accident.
Like anyone believes her!